I need to do some serious anaylizing! Here's the deal, I do a fabulous job of keeping my calorie budget in check during the day. I am very concious of what I am taking in and how many calories are in each thing. But then, I come home....
It seems that I''ve become something that I'm not nor have I ever been. I eat ALL EVENING LONG! I have never done this, at least not that I'm aware of. But I've been doing it all week! I don't know what has happened to create this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type persona that I have taken on.
I am a very analytical person by nature and I am racking my brain trying to figure this out. Am I bored? Is this stress eating? Am I feeling deprived? Am I eating just because the food is here? I don't know and it's driving me crazy. Jack Sh*t mentioned this in his interview with Sean Anderson yesterday. He said that the thing that scares him the most is not knowing why you fight so hard to lose the weight and then you turn around and go crazy. I put in all that I have to be good all day long and not overeat and then I go to the Y and work out as hard as I can and then I come home and throw it all away. A full day's work for nothing. Amber Anderson put a cute little saying in her blog, "Tough cookies don't crumble." I feel like I'm a tough cookie that gets dipped in milk everyday.
Maybe I should find something to stay busy while I'm home at night. I've toyed with the idea of getting rid of all the food in the house and going to the store daily and only buying what is needed for the evening. Perhaps I should just not come home until bedtime. Maybe I have a more serious problem than I thought. I don't know. I know this has to stop and it needs to stop today! I can't keep this up. It is very self destructive behavior and I already know that it is leading down a horrible path.
I will do some serious thinking on this issue today, perhaps some research, and let you know what I've decided to do about it.
March 23rd, 2018 Kind To You
1 hour ago